*cough*

Ok, I realise this isn't the best place to put this, but it does affect work I've been doing for 3DG.

For the last four and a half years I've been engaged to a very wonderful woman named Christina. Over the winter I finally managed to get her parents to agree to a time for us to be married, which seems good... but then that forced us both to finally face up to some issues that have been quietly gnawing away at the back of my mind for some time. Specifically, about kids. A lot of people seem to think that it's unusual for a man to want children, and I've no idea why they should... but anyway, I seem to have some sort of predisposition toward having children. Christina, unfortunately, didn't. She's the type that simply isn't maternal... I've seen marriages that involved similar people, a good example being my own aunt cheryl, who wasn't the least bit interested in children. About 10 years ago she ended a long and frustrating marriage after her husband, who desperately did want children, had an affair.

You see, Chris wouldn't have been happy if she was forced to have children. I wouldn't have been happy if I didn't have children, so in the end we'd both have been unhappy in a marriage. Much as I'd like to have spent my entire life with her, I can't force her or myself to live in what would end up as a loveless marriage. So... as of last week we broke up. When she graduates from university she'll return to Sweden and I'll do whatever it is I do.

So... if I've acted peculiarly in any way, that's why. And, obviously, I've not had much energy to really get on with things, so... that's that. Funnily enough, I actually feel some relief that it's all over now.

[moovok]

Thanks for sharing, in a way I also want children, three to be precise, and I've already got names for each one, plus the number of girls/boys. Since I've been single all my life, I haven't really found a girl who's said "no", but luckily, my best friend and I have done a pact (sorta like the Friends thing), that when I turn 30, we'll get married, have kids, and then we'll have someone for the rest of our lives (plus, I get my kids I want).

I hope you find someone the same, not in the same way that I have a future, no matter if I'm still single in 9 years time. I hope you find the woman who wants what you want.

*HUGS*

Proximo, you know, take it easy for a while. Eat a ton of chocolate, and try to be positive, even though it's really hard right now.
*HUGS*

[General Phoenix]

Sorry to hear that, Graham. But in the long run, as you said, it's probably for the best.

I'd like to have a child myself someday, but I've seen so many people rush into parenthood with no idea of the physical, emotional, and financial burdens - my own parents did that, and for the entire time I was growing up, every day was a struggle for them. As a result, I've decided to wait until I feel I can provide for a child. In the meantime, I've got writing to do and films to make...

For what it's worth, I do know that there are plenty of women out there who want desperately to have a child - but make sure you're in love with the woman herself, and not just the idea of having a child with her.

[skyhawk223]

We are here for you, Proximo. Sounds like what happened was for the best.

Thanks guys...

Prox, I kind of understand where you're coming from, I'm very inclined towards having children one day and my current "girlfriend" is very un-children indeed, which makes me wonder if, however good we are together, there's any point in pursuing something I know is doomed. But who knows eh?

Unfortunate on your part, and sorry it happened From the way you're posting I'd say you're taking it pretty damn well to be honest, but maybe you're just grown-up about things. Whatever you're feeling, it'll go away eventually, but you know that Try to keep yourself occupied by styling your facial hair, or modifying your shoes so that they work on either foot!

So to recap, breakup bad, good luck with the shoe thing~

*hugs*

I'm sorry Graham. But if it feels right, it is for the best.